Saturday, January 14

beginning the great shift

Hey my dear friends.

Usually, I reserve the last week of the month to talk informally here. But let's just chat right now, shall we?

The past month has been an odd time. It's odd to be in between homes. To have people ask me where I live and actually find myself without an answer.

Just beginning to pack
For the past two-and-a-half weeks or so, I've been in my hometown with my mom. I found myself back in my childhood room. Luggage and possessions strewn about in haphazard piles, no proper places to put them away. My phone, better prepared for BC, had no service. The internet was sluggish, allowing me to only plod away at one patient task at a time.

I felt cut off, though not necessarily in a negative way. Most days, I woke up to an empty house, my mom having gone to work. Having no working phone or a car left me feeling rather languid and unable to make plans.

But it was a time of massive physical and emotional rest. Some days were filled with preparation, emailing, filling out forms for insurance, retirement, taxes. Filled with sorting and resorting items. Making lists and crossing them out. Other days just involved me laying on the couch glued to the screen or a book.

Friday, my room was in greater chaos than before. And then, accompanied by the sound of a vacuum sucking shut bags of clothes, it wasn't it chaos anymore. The culmination of my physical existence was neatly stowed away in two bags, a rolling carry-on bag, and backpack. One hundred pounds of what I deemed too precious to leave behind. A promise of what will decorate the place I will soon call home.

Today, I made my way down to Conway, for the final two weeks of my time in Arkansas before flying out. I plan to be here until January 28th, at which time a friend and I will be driving down to the Dallas area so that I can fly out on February 1st. Leaving Hardy wasn't as hard as it might have been, and I attribute this to the fact that I still have two weeks before I actually fly out. Perhaps it doesn't feel quite real, and so even hugging my mom did not feel bitter.

It's good to be back in Conway. But it's strange, isn't it, to come back to a place you once called home and to find it changed in your absence. I feel so much less ownership, less confidence, than I exhibited here just six months ago. It feels like another way point. Or maybe that's just the bags stacked in the corner of my interim bedroom talking.

I do feel very blessed to be at this point. I plan on using the next two weeks to the absolute fullest. And that includes you. If you're in Central Arkansas and want to hang out, please let me know. And let me know sooner rather than later so that I can have plenty of time to spend with everyone rather than feeling stressed and anxious as I still have a great deal of logistics to also complete before making this international move. But all the same, I would love to see you.

I sure am looking forward to it.