How odd, to have my present life invested in North America, to pay rent, pay tuition, go to church, make friends, ride the bus, while spending so much time envisioning life in a country 8,000 miles away among people whom I have never seen. How inconvenient, it sometimes seems, to think so constantly of my life in Nepal and remember that my life is not currently in Nepal.
It is odd to have so much knowledge and stock in a culture that I must learn about second-hand. And it's odd to speak in the future rather than the present tense.
My heart is ready to be in South Asia. The Lord put this call within me long before I recognized it. And while it can feel like an inconvenience that I am still waiting and preparing to make my home there, the Giver of Good Gifts has granted me these months of training, preparing, sharing of my passion, and sanctification for the betterment of my work once I am actually on the ground.
And so I know that this is a season of preparation, a season of joys in North America, a season of sewing together the many lessons the Lord has given me. I know that this is a season the tapestry of praise that my life is will grow. Strings are being weaved as my eyes open wider to see the glory of the Lord.
I am reminded of Ecclesiastes 3.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;And even as I can ruminate on the difficulties of this season of waiting, of looking forward while struggling to see present, I am again choosing joy. I am resting in the fact that there are seasons for everything under the sun, and my current season is pleasing unto the Lord.
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
And even in the unknowing, in the struggle, I am comforted that the Lord has given me sufficient sight just bright enough to take the next step knowing where my foot will fall. Later in Ecclesiastes 3, it is written that "He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end."
I walk with not only Nepal in my heart, but eternity. Neither of these destinations can be seen in this moment, but they are set firmly in my heart.
So I will walk in joy through each of the proper times for anything under the sun. I am dancing when it is a time to dance, mourn as it is time to mourn, sew and create in their time, and tear apart and begin anew when that is needed. Even my impatience in this current season, as it is a time to wait rather than to run, I am reminded that "everything God does will remain forever; there is nothing to add to it and there is nothing to take from it, for God has so worked that men should fear him" (Ecclesiastes 3:14).
God has determined all of his work and his work will remain forever. I cannot add to it. I must merely do what it is time to do. Even if that means it's time to wait.
With eternity in my heart.
If you would like to know how to be a part of my future (and much anticipated) work in Nepal, please let me know.
In great love,